The Dads: An Important Documentary for Transgender Remembrance Day
It’s Transgender Remembrance Day 2023 and we’ve got something special for you. Released on November 17 on the Netflix streaming platform is a short documentary about the lives and experiences of six dads of transgender kids in the United States. These families have many differences, but what’s more important is the similarities of their stories. The Dads is the story of six trans kids who are loved beyond belief, but who have suffered deeply at the hands of the society they live in.
Wayne Maines is the father of Nicole Maines. Nicole and her family petitioned the courts in 2014 stating that her school district could not deny her access to the female bathroom on account of the fact that she is transgender. The court ruled in her favor and this was the first case in the United States which succeeded in this way.
The Maine family is not strangers to the perils of transgender discrimination in this country, and Wayne himself understands all too well that often, such discrimination can begin in the home with the parents of trans kids. He knows that educating families about transgender issues is the first step to changing the hearts and minds of the country, and therefore making America a safer place for trans people everywhere.
This is how The Dads came to be. Six dads from different backgrounds from around the United States came together to honor their transgender children and do what they can moving forward to change the negative and discriminatory messaging surrounding this community at this time.
In the ten-or-so-minute documentary, it’s clear what the men are here for: they love their kids, and they want to make the country they live in a safer place for them all. The reality is, trans violence is at an all-time high in the United States right now (and globally) and there is so much work that needs to be done.
These dads are here to do the job and show you that you can too.
When Wayne Maines, Peter Betz, Frank Gonzalez, Stephen Chukumba, Jose Trujillo, and Dennis Shepard came together and spent a weekend fishing in rural Oklahoma, enjoying the great outdoors in The Dads documentary, the message was clear: you can be a traditional, all-American masculine man and still love your transgender child.
Dennis Shepard, the father of Matthew Shepard, recalls that the last time he went fishing before this day, his son Matthew was still with us. Matthew was later beaten to death in Wyoming when he was twenty-one years old because he was transgender. The Shepard family lost their child, and the world lost a beautiful soul to senseless violence way too soon.
Dennis’ place in this group of men is so important, and his loss is a stark reminder to everyone that there is much work to be done. On this Transgender Awareness Day, we pay tribute to Matthew and his family, and take pause for all trans lives lost to violence around the world.
A lack of safety and widespread rejection are common themes behind all their stories. Stephen Chakumba talks about this issue candidly and says he thinks about his son’s safety every time he leaves the house. He’s a Black trans man in America, and he says that “all parts of this country are not safe for trans people.” Chukumba says some powerful words in The Dads about how the transgender journey is so profound that parents of trans kids can’t do it alone, in isolation, and be the support for their kids that they need.
This is why The Dads matters so much. On the surface, their gathering looks like a fishing trip. But it’s so much more than that. They’re a group of men from all walks of life, showing up for their trans kids. White men, Black men, Latino men – the diversity in this group is so wide, but their backgrounds matter far less than the thing that unites them – their trans kids and the absolute dire need to do everything they can to build a better future for them, and trans kids to come.
Wayne Maines says “…so many trans families don’t make it because the dads aren’t on board. They’ve got to figure out why they’re afraid.”
How do you educate people about these issues? Through representation, folks. This is why The Dads, despite how short it is, matters so much. Hopefully, dads of trans kids everywhere see this film and think about their own lives, their own kids, and do what is right for them.
Trans lives matter.
Trujillo says, “The thread that connects us all is that we love our children, and we’re willing to put everything on the line for other people’s children as well.”
The fight for the transgender community is in full swing. This group of men are so powerful and have the potential to influence so much change. They’re your neighbor, your coworker, or the guy you see at the grocery store all the time. They want their kids to be safe, to be loved, to be happy, and lead fulfilling lives. Don’t you want that for your own kids?
We know you’ve got ten minutes to spare. Watch The Dads on this Transgender Remembrance Day. It’s available to stream on Netflix now.
