Not Me: The full season review

Not Me is one of the most exciting queer projects to come from Asia in recent times. We followed it very closely, yelled about it on socials, and eagerly watched the season finale this Sunday as the stories that carved out our fave characters’ lives came to a close. In a weird twist of fate, the ending didn’t exactly give us everything we wanted, but at the same time, it also kind of did. 

Shall we explain? It’s no secret that, despite its wild success around the globe, Thai BL is plagued by low budgets, poor scripting, and the promotion of stereotypical low-key homophobic tropes. Something we loved about Not Me was that this show seemed to be absent of all of these problematic things. 

The last episode, however, left us feeling a little… unsure. No one died, and we absolutely thought someone was going to. Everyone ended up with the one they love, so that’s also a win. But, we’re just not sure how to feel about the way all that happened. 

Despite the last episode leaving us feeling a certain way, we stand by the opinion that this is, without a doubt, the best thing Thailand has produced in recent years (maybe ever?) Here is our season review of the incredible BL production Not Me. 

Plot overview

Black (Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat) and White (Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat) are twins that share a unique connection. When their parents separated years before, dad took White overseas and mom kept Black in Thailand. The boys haven’t seen each other in years and years. Despite this, their connection remains strong. If something happens to one twin, the other can feel it in their own body, which doesn’t always bode well for our protagonist since his twin, Black has chosen a less conventional life that often finds himself in harms way.

White and his dad come back to Thailand as White is finishing up his university studies and preparing for the workforce. It isn’t long after being back in the country though, that White’s life becomes completely entangled with his twin once more. 

Black is in trouble – in the hospital in a coma kind of trouble – and White can’t let it go. He decides to pose as Black and infiltrate the life Black has created for himself, intending to figure out who hurt his brother so badly. 

Except, White is really different from Black. As their name suggests, they come from different worlds, despite being twins. White has enjoyed a life of privilege and opportunity, whereas Black, despite his mother being a judge, has essentially lived the exact opposite life of his brother. It doesn’t matter how identical two people can be on the outside, those kinds of differences on the inside are hard to hide, regardless of how much one tries. 

One of Black’s gang mates notices the softer side of White immediately. Sean (Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn) can’t explain the new side of Black that he is seeing, and he certainly can’t explain the funny things it does to his insides, but it happens nonetheless. 

Where Black is hard, White is soft. Where Black is brash, White is calculated. Where Black thinks about survival, White considers proper morality first. The show does an exceptionally good job of juxtaposing the two sets of opposing characteristics and allowing the audience to analyze which is better. As we get to know these two very different characters, we learn that the world doesn’t always exist in black and white, that sometimes there is a whole kaleidoscope of colors in between that make our lives so complex and worth living. 

White didn’t expect to fall in love with anyone during his mission, though. That’s not what he came for. But love has a funny way of sneaking up on you just when you least expect it. Suddenly White’s mission isn’t just about figuring out what happened to Black, now it includes making sure Sean is safe and by his side. 

The politics

Although they are presented as nothing more than thugs at the beginning of the show, it doesn’t take long for White (and us) to realize that what Sean and his friends are doing is nothing short of important for Thailand. Not Me takes on the corrupt government and seeks to expose the discrimination of the country’s marginalized communities: women, LGBTQ folks, and disabled people. 

The LGBTQ community of Thailand are currently engaged in yet another battle for marriage equality. The courts recently denied a new petition for LGBTQ marriage equality and upheld that marriage is an institution that should exist between heterosexual couples only. 

Not Me aired an episode right around the time that decision was announced that challenged the government’s decision. For anyone following the political situation in Thailand for real, this episode was somewhat emotional. To see a BL production finally take a stand and use its platform to actually advance real LGBTQ issues for the Thai people had our hearts swelling. In this particular episode, White and Sean find themselves at an LGBTQ rally which is protesting the marriage equality issue, and the episode is quite powerful indeed. This is also the moment that Sean and White move their relationship to the next level for real, even though Sean is still unaware that Black is actually White. 

Apart from the LGBTQ issues that are prevalent in Thailand, Not Me also does a really great job at exposing how the disabled population in Thailand is exploited and treated unfairly by the workforce. 

Yok’s (First Kanaphan Puitrakul) mom is deaf, but otherwise completely able bodied. Her hearing disability subjects her to all kinds of workplace discrimination and the poor woman is left with few options but to work for corrupt businessmen who do not have the people’s interest in mind. As a result, her life is one that is met with unnecessary, constant hardship that could be avoided if the government chose to do something about it.

Off and Gun

The two lead actors, Off and Gun, are no strangers to the world of BL. In fact, this is not the first BL they’ve starred in together. They came to the Not Me production with a healthy, sizable fan base already built into their name. While we liked their previous work together, nothing could have prepared us for the transformation that we see in each of them in the Not Me series. 

Firstly, the roles of White/Black and Sean are all much more mature characters than we’ve previously seen from these young men. Gun, with his sparkling eyes and baby face, surprised us infinitely. Fulfilling the shoes of Black and White, Gun has completely shed his cutesy, baby image that definitely marked his name prior to Not Me. Proving to the world that his talent is immeasurable, he expertly portrays the juxtaposing lives of Black as the big, bad gangster, and White as the more gentle, thoughtful type all in the same show. 

Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat is totally mind blowing in Not Me. 

We also don’t want to overlook the incredible performance that Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn gave as Sean. Just like his co-star, Off proved with this role that he has grown exponentially as an actor. Just like it did for Gun, Not Me provided a space for Off to really show everyone what he is capable of – and my god, he sure showed us. 

Every single time Sean looked into Black/White’s face, we wanted to die a little inside – even before he knew that White wasn’t actually Black, and vice versa. Off’s control over his body language and facial expressions had us screaming at the television and weeping week after week. Sean’s love for White radiated from Off in each and every scene. If anyone ever looked at us the way Sean looked at White/Black, we’re not sure we’d still be standing here alive. 

The chemistry between these two young men, both on and off screen, is nothing new. It’s what shot them to popularity so fast in the past. However, their comfort, trust, and reliance on each other as professionals and as friends has never been more evident. They’re an incredible partnership and we really hope this isn’t the last time we see them together on screeen.

Mom, we want what they have! Where do we find us a someone like OffGun?

Inclusivity

Minorities are so often represented poorly in BL productions. Everyone is gay (let’s talk about that Engineering school in Thailand, shall we?) or everyone is a walking stereotype, or the issues that surround the minority communities are largely ignored for the sake of an attempt at perfect storytelling. 

But not in Not Me. Apart from Sean and White, the show centers another LGBTQ couple as well. Yok and Dan (Fluke Gawin Caskey) have quite the emotional roller-coaster of a relationship, as well. Despite the fact that they were secondary to Sean and White, this coupling has quite the cult following on social media. They’re cute, attractive, but also a little controversial. We like to see it.

There is also a disabled character, a heterosexual coupling (often absent from BL entirely), and a trans character – Nuch, played by Filmshy Natthapon Pakdeerak. We are definitely here for this and we hope to see more of this from this industry moving forward.

The ending

Despite how much the show rocked our world, we weren’t totally wild about the ending. The gang gets kidnapped, but then they’re set free by protestors. We are super happy that no one died, but the rescue seemed a little rushed and unbelievable. Despite their brush with death, the entire gang decide that they’re not going to stop fighting for their cause, but we don’t really know where they’re headed next. 

Sean and White are together, so that’s a happy win. Black is still alive, which took us by surprise, and even Dan and Yok end up back together after Dan totally betrayed Yok and sold them out to the cops (although we were silently rooting for them, we’re not sure how we feel about this honestly). Shoutout to Yok for at least punching Dan in the face before welcoming him back into his life.

The ending just felt… perhaps “rushed” is the appropriate word. There was so much left to unpack after episode 13 that the way everything was just so perfectly okay so quickly in episode 14 felt a little strange. 

One thing in particular that we felt was left too undeveloped was the connection that exists between White and Black. The show initially set that story-line up as something otherworldly, but then at the end of the show, White mentions it’s just a twin thing. There was so much potential there that we felt left untapped. We definitely wanted more from the writers in this particular area, but with only fourteen episodes to work with, some things definitely take a backseat.

Despite these very few shortcomings we are incredibly happy that we stumbled onto the Not Me series. This show is significantly important for the world of BL and it’s even more important for the people in Thailand who are currently living under an oppressive regime that is trying to silence them and their rights. 

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If you want to join us on the train of all the deep feelings, you can watch all fourteen episodes of Not Me on YouTube now. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram!