Lover of Men: A Fresh Look at Abraham Lincoln’s Hidden Relationships and Lasting Legacy
When we think of Abraham Lincoln, we don’t think of a lover of men, we often picture him as one of the greatest presidents in American history—a leader whose monumental achievements, like preserving the Union during the Civil War and issuing the Emancipation Proclamation, transformed the nation forever. Lincoln’s dedication to democracy and liberty not only reshaped the future of the United States but also laid the groundwork for a more just society. Yet, while his political legacy is cemented in the history books, Lincoln’s personal life has sparked curiosity and debate for centuries.
For years, scholars and historians have speculated about Lincoln’s relationships, particularly his emotional and physical intimacy with men. Some argue that Lincoln may have been what we would today call queer, while others contend that the evidence remains circumstantial. Enter Lover of Men: The Untold History of Abraham Lincoln, a groundbreaking documentary that dares to explore this possibility in depth. With never-before-seen photographs and letters, Lover of Men examines Lincoln’s close relationships with key figures like Joshua Speed, Elmer Ellsworth, Billy Green, and Captain David Derickson, laying the foundation for a compelling argument that Lincoln’s affections reflect a non-heteronormative orientation.
Directed by Shaun Peterson, Lover of Men features insights from leading historians and scholars like Dr. John Stauffer and Michael Bronski from Harvard University, Dr. Thomas Balcerski from Occidental College, and Dr. Jack Halberstam from Columbia University, among many others. These experts guide us through Lincoln’s untold story, offering fresh perspectives on the ways societal norms around sexuality and gender have evolved—and continue to evolve.
As the documentary takes us from Lincoln’s humble beginnings in a Kentucky log cabin to his tragic assassination in Washington, D.C., it zeroes in on the four men who played pivotal roles in his life. From Billy Green, believed to be Lincoln’s first love, to Joshua Speed, often considered the love of his life, Lover of Men invites us to rethink our understanding of Lincoln’s emotional world and to question why we’ve often held such a limited view of human sexuality in history.
More than a history lesson, Lover of Men challenges viewers to consider: If Lincoln were recognized today as a queer figure, would he still be regarded as the greatest president in American history? Would he still occupy such a revered place in the hearts of Americans? This documentary doesn’t just reexamine Lincoln’s legacy—it asks us to reflect on how we view the past and what it means for the future of LGBTQ+ visibility.
Lover of Men: Billy Green and Joshua Speed
The documentary Lover of Men begins by exploring one of Abraham Lincoln’s most debated and intimate relationships—his bond with Joshua Speed. But before diving into the well-documented connection with Speed, Lover of Men first touches on Lincoln’s earlier relationship with Billy Green, a man who played a pivotal role in Lincoln’s formative years.
In 1831, Lincoln moved to New Salem, where he met Billy Green through his mentor, William Mentor Graham. The two quickly hit it off, working together and sharing a cramped living space for 18 months. Historians agree that, because Lincoln and Green, both well-built men, were forced to sleep in such close proximity, body contact was inevitable. But for two men to endure such an arrangement for such a long time suggests that it went beyond necessity. In fact, Green’s own description of Lincoln’s physical build—remarkably focusing on his thighs rather than the typical references to biceps or physique—raises questions about the nature of their connection. This unique detail, coupled with insights from studies on same-sex intimacy during that period, hints at the possibility that their relationship may have been more than just friendly companionship.
From Billy Green, we then move to the more well-known and complex relationship between Lincoln and Joshua Speed. Lincoln met Speed in 1837 when he first arrived in Springfield, Illinois, with hardly a penny to his name. Speed offered him a bed in his apartment above the store he owned, and from there, the two shared a home—and a bed—for several years (four to be precise). While it wasn’t unusual for men in the 19th century to share beds out of financial necessity, Lover of Men suggests there was something deeper at play.
As Lover of Men carefully unpacks, Lincoln’s decision to stay with Speed was not merely out of necessity. At one point, Lincoln’s mentor even offered him his own room in a fully furnished home, but Lincoln chose to remain with Speed. What began as a temporary arrangement evolved into a deep and emotionally intense bond. Even as Lincoln became financially independent and well-established, he continued to stay by Speed’s side. This, historians argue, points to a relationship driven by emotional need rather than convenience.
Lincoln and Speed’s connection was undeniably intense, with letters between the two showing a level of emotional intimacy that went far beyond the standard friendship of the time. When Speed left Springfield to return to Kentucky, Lincoln’s heartache was so severe that he described himself as “the most miserable man living.” These letters, which Lincoln wrote to Speed during their separation, are among the most personal he ever penned. His words overflow with affection and longing, and he even signed them “Yours forever, Lincoln”—a phrase he never used with anyone else, not even his wife, Mary Todd Lincoln.
Speed’s influence on Lincoln extended beyond their emotional bond. Coming from wealth and refinement, Speed taught Lincoln how to navigate the public sphere, advising him on everything from his appearance to his political ambitions. It’s widely accepted that Speed played a significant role in shaping Lincoln’s public persona, much as Mary Todd would later do as his wife. In fact, historians suggest that Lincoln saw in Speed a life partner—a soulmate with whom he hoped to remain bachelor companions forever. But Speed, aware of societal expectations, knew that marriage was inevitable for both of them.
As Lincoln eventually returned to court Mary Todd and later married, it was clear that Joshua Speed remained the most significant emotional tie in his life. Even after Speed’s marriage, the letters between the two men maintained a level of intimacy and vulnerability rarely seen in Lincoln’s other correspondence. Speed’s guidance and emotional support not only shaped Lincoln’s political career but also left an indelible mark on his personal life. Their relationship transcended friendship, leaving historians to speculate that Speed was, in fact, the love of Lincoln’s life.
Elmer Ellsworth and David Derickson: Other Key Figures in Lincoln’s Life
After Speed, the film shifts to focus on Lincoln’s relationships with two other men: Elmer Ellsworth and Captain David Derickson. Ellsworth was a young, dashing colonel who captured Lincoln’s heart during the early days of the Civil War. Elmer Ellsworth arrived at Lincoln’s door in 1860 as the leader of the “Zouave Cadets of Chicago,” a military drill team. Despite his lack of qualifications, Lincoln was captivated by the young, dashing Ellsworth, so much so that when Lincoln became president, he ensured Ellsworth was appointed as a colonel.
This appointment placed Ellsworth at Lincoln’s side, allowing them to spend significant time together. However, Ellsworth’s role also put him in harm’s way. During the Civil War, Ellsworth took it upon himself to remove a Confederate flag from a hotel in Alexandria, Virginia, a bold move that cost him his life. Ellsworth became the first casualty of the war, and Lincoln’s reaction was one of profound grief. Reports say that Lincoln grieved more openly for Ellsworth than he did for the death of his own child, spending the night with Ellsworth’s corpse before the funeral.
Then there’s Captain David Derickson, who served as Lincoln’s bodyguard during the Civil War around 1862 and provided protection at the Lincoln Cottage in Washington, D.C., where Lincoln often retreated. Derickson’s role quickly evolved from protector to close companion. He often spent the night with Lincoln, sharing his bed when Mrs. Lincoln was away.
This arrangement wasn’t just a one-off occurrence; letters and historical accounts suggest a sustained intimacy between the two. Virginia Woodbury Fox wrote in November 1862, “…there is a Ducktail soldier here devoted to the president, drives with him, and when Mrs. L is not home, sleeps with him. What stuff.” But this wasn’t mere gossip. Derickson’s commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Thomas Chamberlin, confirmed the arrangement in his regimental history, noting that Derickson not only shared Lincoln’s bed but also made use of his nightshirts. The close physical and emotional bond between Lincoln and Derickson mirrored the intimacy Lincoln had with other men in his life, challenging us to rethink what these relationships meant in the context of Lincoln’s personal and political life.
Queer Erasure in History
One of the most compelling parts of Lover of Men is how it shines a light on the way history has deliberately erased or downplayed queer figures. The film makes a critical point: from classical antiquity until the mid-19th century, societies were often more open to same-sex relationships, but they did not categorize them in terms of identity. Sexuality, as we understand it today, is a relatively modern concept, with the labels of heterosexuality and homosexuality emerging only in the late 19th century. In earlier times, same-sex relationships were more fluid and not tied to a person’s identity. The film then highlights how, by the late 19th century, sexuality began to be weaponized as part of the medical and religious frameworks, further contributing to the erasure of queerness in powerful figures.
The film takes us back to 1926 when biographer Carl Sandburg referred to both Joshua Speed and Lincoln as having “a streak of lavender”—a subtle reference that people within the LGBTQ+ community would have recognized as a sign of queerness. However, over time, these references were edited out, as part of a broader trend to suppress any indication of queerness in powerful historical figures.
Lover of Men expands the conversation beyond Lincoln, connecting his story to the larger struggle for LGBTQ+ visibility, pointing out that throughout history, queer people in positions of power have often been written out of the narrative. By reexamining Lincoln’s relationships, Lover of Men challenges us to rethink how we view the past and reminds us that LGBTQ+ people have always been a part of the story—even if their contributions have been systematically erased or hidden from view.
The Weaponization of Sexuality and Its Relevance Today
The film also tackles a larger issue that feels incredibly relevant today: the weaponization of sexuality. It explores how, throughout history, religious and political institutions have used sexuality as a way to control people and push certain agendas. From the Catholic Church’s suppression of same-sex relationships to the pathologizing of homosexuality in the 20th century, Lover of Men shows how Christianity, especially in the American context, was used to justify and moralize slavery. This same weaponization was later applied to homosexuality, with religion often serving as a vehicle for hatred and discrimination.
By the 20th century, the categorization of human sexuality—largely thanks to the rise of medical and psychological sciences—became a means of control. Freud’s work, while foundational in understanding human development, boxed sexuality into rigid categories that would later be used to pathologize same-sex desire. Homosexuality became labeled as a mental illness, leading to devastatingly inhumane therapies designed to “cure” people of their sexuality. This marked a turning point where queer identities were no longer simply erased but actively oppressed.
But Lover of Men doesn’t just look at the past—it connects Lincoln’s story to the challenges we’re facing today, particularly the rise of anti-LGBTQ+ laws and the heartbreaking increase in LGBTQ+ youth suicides. The film underscores how important it is for us to recognize the contributions of queer figures like Lincoln, especially in a time when LGBTQ+ rights are under threat.
Lover of Men invites viewers to reflect on what it means for someone like Lincoln—arguably one of the most revered figures in American history—to be recognized as potentially queer. If we can accept that one of America’s greatest leaders may have been part of the LGBTQ+ community, then maybe we can start to create a more inclusive future for everyone. Lincoln’s legacy of equality and justice should inspire us today as we continue the fight for LGBTQ+ rights and representation. After all, one of the many laws Lincoln helped shape could be the key to securing LGBTQ+ rights today, including access to gender-affirming care for trans people.
“No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”
Lover of Men leaves us with an uplifting yet urgent message: Lincoln’s story, if understood fully, could inspire us to fight for true equality for everyone.
Lover of Men is set to open in select theaters this Friday (September 6). The film has partnered with the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), so if you buy your tickets through this special link, a portion of the proceeds will support the HRC’s efforts to advance LGBTQ+ rights. So run and get your tickets—it’s a must-see for anyone who cares about history, equality, and the ongoing struggle for justice. Follow us on X and Instagram for all queer stuff!
Featured Image: Courtesy of Forston Consulting
