His Man: A full season review of South Korea’s first LGBTQ dating show

His Man is South Korea’s first ever LGBTQ dating show. Known for being an overtly homophobic country, the fact that a production like His Man exists at all, is a huge win for the LGBTQ community in South Korea. It features eight young, professional gay men who all enter “Man’s House” for a week to get to know each other and dip their toes in the dating pool. 

A week is not a very long time to get to know someone, however by the end of the season, it is expected that there will be some matches among the guests. The show managed to churn out eleven 50-minute episodes for the duration of the contestants stay in the house. And SPOILER ALERT, matches were indeed made. 

Two couples emerged at the end of the last episode and the season closed with the two pairs heading off into their real lives to give this whole relationship thing a go. They walked away holding hands on television in a country that does a really good job of stigmatizing and marginalizing its queer population. If for nothing else, this alone was a win for this show. 

Here are our thoughts on His Man. 

His Man: Representation matters

This is something that we say a lot in the Q+ Magazine offices: representation matters, but the right representation matters even more. His Man knocked it out of the park in this domain. It would have been really easy for the producers to depict the men they invited to this show in negative, stereotypical ways that fall in line with the homophoboic rhetoric that comes from South Korea, but they didn’t. 

Instead, they introduced the world to eight ‘average’ gay men that also just happened to be South Korean. They were professional, accomplished, and complex young men that anyone could relate to. They’re all someone’s brother, someone’s bestie, someone’s coworker, someone’s son. They’re just like you and us in more ways than they’re not. And among them, they’re all really different, complex personalities that just so happen to share one thing in common: they’re all gay. 

It’s really hard to pidgeon-hole these men with negative stereotypes that follow the gay community around, because none of the men brought any kind of this baggage with them into the house. They filled the space with their authentic selves and watching them get to know each other affirmed the one thing that we’ve always known all along: there is no one right way to be gay, there is not one single version of what gay should look like. 

And that, fam, that’s beautiful. 

All of the men showed up looking for a connection. At the end of the day, regardless of our sexual orientation, we all just want to love and be loved. His Man does an excellent job of depicting this side of humanity that lives inside of us all, and provides space for folks who might otherwise have trouble understanding the queer community, to relate to these men on a human level. 

This is what we mean when we say that the right representation matters. It would have been easy for the creators of His Man to put a stereotypical version of gayness on our screens that does nothing to advance the queer agenda in countries like South Korea. These representations often end up hindering the queer community instead of helping, and His Man did not do this. 

If progress is ever going to happen in homophobic spaces, showing those at the center of it all that the queer community has more in common with the heterosexual community than they don’t, is crucial. Shows like His Man that seek to highlight the humanity that exists in queer spaces are imperative for change to occur. 

So Bravo, His Man. Hat’s off to you!

Exposing homophobia

In one of the episodes, they all sit down and share stories of their coming out sagas and the experiences they endured with the people around them after they did. In our opinion, it is the most important part of the show. By the time this conversation takes place, viewers are already invested in these men. Everyone has their faves (we certainly did here in the office) and listening to the very personal details that each of these men experienced on account of their sexuality, is devastating. 

And not in a good way. 

All of them had shared experiences. Folks had been called names and bullied by people out in the world, but it’s their family relations that hit the hardest. A couple of the men informed the others that they hadn’t even really come out to their families yet (aren’t those parents in for quite a surprise when the show airs?). Some expressed that, upon coming out, their families expressed that they already knew, while others experienced complete rejection. 

One of the contestants, Jeong-Ho, shared that when he came out to his father, his father told him that he wished he had never married his mother. He explained this further and said that if he had never married her, then Jeong-Ho wouldn’t exist, which he considered to be a better scenario than his son existing as a gay man. 

Tears were shed, fam. Many, many tears. 

Regardless of their familial reactions, as the men chatted about their experiences existing as gay men in a homophobic country, it became clear that they all had one shared experience in common: gay trauma. 

Trauma that shouldn’t exist. Trauma that could be avoided. Trauma that wouldn’t be an issue if the heterosexual community checked its homophobia at the door. 

Watching these men recount their stories and seeing how they hold the emotion in their bodies is humbling at the very least. We sincerely hope that many folks in South Korea watch this show and think about how they treat the queer community that exists around them. 

Queer people are human people, and they exist and feel in the same way that their heterosexual counterparts do. Many of the contestants expressed that they wanted to find the kind of love that could result in marriage, but the reality is, in South Korea, that’s not possible. Marriage equality has not yet been achieved in that country, and it seems like it’s a long way off from being possible too. 

It was really hard to watch these young men express this desire to get married knowing that it just isn’t possible, and may not become possible for them in their lifetime. 

Successful matches

We sat on the edge of our seats during the last episode as it was revealed if anyone matched up successfully or not. It mattered a lot to us that this happened for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we were very invested in the relationships that had evolved before our eyes. Secondly, it was important to us that the viewers got to see everyday gay folks end up happy and expressing lust and love in healthy ways. 

The show produced not one, but two successful matches! Oh how our queer hearts thumped for them!

We know that a week isn’t really a very long time to get to know someone, and despite the fact that they did match, there was no guarantee that things would turn out happily ever after for them in the long run, but it brought us joy to see that there was a chance. So often, queer television results in the queer folks it focusses on being left with nothing but unhappy endings. 

And while we know that not all the contestants found a connection, four of them did. That’s 50% y’all. We like those odds!

At this point, we’d like to say that we are aware that quite a lot of drama unfolded between the couples once the filming finished taping. As of just this week, none of the four contestants that matched are still currently seeing each other, however that doesn’t detract from the importance of the show for us at all. 

In fact, it serves to humanize the whole thing even more. Dating is hard for everyone, regardless of where you come from, what you look like, or who you love. This is a universal process that humans all around the world struggle through before they’re lucky enough to find someone to love. It also serves as a reminder that the contestants on His Man are in fact real life human beings and not fictional characters that owe fans something. 

We wish all the contestants of His Man nothing but love and light. We hope they go out into the world and continue to be the best gay versions of themselves, whatever they decide that may be!

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All eleven episodes of His Man are available to watch on IQIYI and GagaOOlala now. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram for all queer stuff!