Book of the Month: Upside Down by N.R. Walker

The asexual folks in the queer community get a bad rep. Mostly, we think that’s because a lot of people just don’t really understand the complexities of the asexual spectrum. This is why representation matters. We were thrilled to stumble across Upside Down by N.R. Walker because it positively represents one aspect of what asexuality can look like. 

It’s the story of Jordan and Hennessy, two young twenty-something gay guys from Sydney that run into each other on the bus. Hennessy is definitely asexual, and Jordan is thinking that he might be too, considering his absolute aversion to sexual activity. For the longest time, Jordan has felt like a complete fish out of water with the whole no sex thing, but meeting Hennessy makes him realize that there isn’t anything wrong with him and that asexuality is a thing and it’s perfectly normal. 

Upside Down is an easy, sweet, and lovable read. Here is our review of Upside Down by N.R. Walker. 

Upside Down plot overview

The story, written in first person, is told from both Jordan and Hennessy’s perspectives. However, the book opens with us in Jordan’s head. Jordan is a geeky, gay librarian in Surry Hills, Sydney. He curses a lot, likes to make sure his wardrobe is coordinated at all times with his shoes, and he really doesn’t like sex. 

He has been crushing on this guy – Headphones Guy – that he sees on the bus each day for the last couple of months. Jordan is exceptionally taken with Headphones Guy but he doesn’t have the confidence to actually approach him and do anything about it. 

Then his best friend, Merry, drags his butt to an asexual support group to try and get Jordan some help with his aversion to sex. And like the mother of all coincidences, Headphones Guy just happens to be the group leader. Jordan absolutely panics. 

“He quoted Lewis Carroll,” I tried to say, but it was barely a squeaky breath. “Oh, Jesus,” she whispered. Her eyes went from my phone to me, then back again. “So that’s it then. I’ll start planning the wedding.”

(N.R. Walker, Upside Down 2019)

Headphones Guy, also gay and definitely asexual, introduces himself as Hennessy. Hennessy is some kind of computer genius, he likes to read, and he likes Jordan. After a couple of encounters on the bus, Hennessy asks Jordan out for coffee and Jordan almost can’t believe it’s happening. 

Upside Down follows these two adorable boys as they navigate a new relationship together and how their individual asexuality plays out in their physical relationship. Neither of them want sex, that is clear, but both of them seem very interested in physical affection and all the other stuff that sits on the periphery of a sexual relationship. 

One night, as they’re working out what these limits are, Jordan and Hennessy are on the couch making out (yes, folks, asexual people CAN kiss) and Jordan is overcome with his desire for Hennessy. He gets hard and it really freaks him out. He pushes away from Hennessy and leaves. Jordan thinks that because his body got turned on by Hennessy, that means he can’t possibly be asexual. He pushes Hennessy away because that’s what Jordan does and Hennessy is confused about what actually happened with their relationship. Jordan is right back where he was before he met Hennessy, confused and alone, and miserable.

Ace representation

The asexual representation in Upside Down is great! There is no one way to be asexual, and this book really highlights the nuances of that so well. Some asexual people aren’t interested in sex at all. Some have sexual limits. Some aren’t interested in romance, and some really don’t want physical contact of any kind. Asexual people can also be some kind of combination of any and all of those things. 

For Jordan and Hennessy, asexuality lands them in the no-sex (intercourse, oral or otherwise) territory, but both boys are definitely interested in physical affection and both of them are deeply romantic. They’re definitely interested in love. 

“The old lady I was sitting next to gaped at me. I shrugged, not even the slightest bit sorry. Okay, well maybe just a little sorry. But he smiled at me. Hennessy goddamned smiled right at me, like I was the reason for his happiness.”

(N.R. Walker, Upside Down 2019)

After the scene where Jordan freaks out about becoming aroused by contact and kisses with Hennessy, Hennessy explains to Jordan that just because his body responded like that, doesn’t mean that Jordan needs to act on it. It’s an important conversation because Hennessy makes it clear that our biology does not have to dictate what we do and don’t do. Just because our bodies are designed to allow us to have sex, doesn’t mean we have to. 

At one of the asexual support group meetings Hennessy runs, there is a discussion about how navigating online and media spaces that are HIGHLY sexualized is treacherous for an asexual person often. We thought this was incredibly important because often our asexual brothers, sisters, and all those in between are often outcast from social spaces because people don’t understand them well. 

Asexuality, like most kinds of sexuality, is a spectrum and Upside Down provides a really insightful look at one particular kind of asexuality. 

Jordan

We absolutely adored Jordan. We loved Hennessy too, but goodness, Jordan stole our hearts. Jordan is just so relatable. He is socially awkward, and he knows it, but he doesn’t try and change who he is to fit in better. He is proudly nerdy and radiates happiness when he is able to nerd out. It’s lovely. 

He resists his asexuality at the beginning fiercely, because as a gay man, he feels like he already has enough labels to contend with. But even though he is reluctant, we loved that he seemed utterly unable to beat himself at his own game and he gave himself over to it wholly and fully. 

He is kind, compassionate, and an all-round decent human being. We actually wish we knew people like Jordan in real life. We would love to be his best friend! 

Upside Down gets two very enthusiastic thumbs up from us. We would give anything for a sequel to see what Jordan and Hennessy get up to as their relationship solidifies into the forever space of marriage. 

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Upside Down is available to purchase on Amazon and other reputable retailers. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram for all queer stuff!