A Secret Love: A lesbian love story
If you’re looking for a warm, fulfilling love story that is actually real, then look no further. Pat Henschel and Terry Donahue star as themselves in A Secret Love, a real life lesbian love story that will leave your eyes wet and your hearts full.
Released in 2020, this documentary tells the story of how two women met and fell in love in a time where homosexuality was not accepted. Their love for each other outlasted and overcame any prejudice society could have thrown their way and now in their final years of life, they’re still as much in love as they were when they met in the 1940s.
The documentary is not all a bed of roses, though. In good storytelling fashion, there is quite a lot of conflict to engage audiences. At the Q+ Magazine offices though, we loved it.
So here is why you should watch A Secret Love.
An everlasting love story
Pat and Terry met in the 1940’s. Caught up in a semi-famous women’s baseball league, both women moved from Canada to the United States where they ended up in a love affair that would define them for the rest of their lives.
When they first met, both women were dating men. However, they each knew that there was something about their connection, their bond, that transcended friendship. After dancing around the issue for a little while, they entered an official relationship, one which took them to their end of days.
They worked at the same company in Chicago and kept their relationship from the world. Their employers didn’t know that they were romantically involved, and neither did their families. Even as society progressed and homosexuality became more and more accepted, they continued to hide their relationship from loved ones.
This is what generations of internalized hatred does to people. Even when things change, it’s really hard to shake the mindset that has been drilled into you. So they continued to hide it until right at the end, when Terry couldn’t take it any longer.
Fun fact, the film A League of Their Own is based off the baseball team that Terry played in. So, even before A Secret Love was made, Terry was semi-famous!
Coming out
It is Terry who decides enough is enough. As Parkinson’s Disease settles into Terry’s body, the reminder of her mortality makes her realize she doesn’t want to keep hiding from her family. Despite the fact that she has been living with Pat for sixty years, it seems no-one in her family understands that they were anything more than friends (really, people, how?)
Terry fears rejection from her family, particularly from her niece, Diana. Terry and Diana have a special relationship, and the last thing that Terry wants is to have that taken away as she heads into her last stages of life. But it is time, and Terry makes the brave choice to tell those around her that Pat isn’t just a good friend, but the love of her life.
Fortunately, everyone in Terry’s family takes the news well – despite the fact that some of them are wildly surprised. Again, we say how people, just how? Interestingly enough, despite the fact that the family takes the news well, they do suggest that Pat and Terry should get married because “we don’t want them to live in sin”. A wedding isn’t something that the ladies thought they could ever have, but it is legal now, so… they do!
A wedding is organized and officiated and Pat and Terry get hitched!
Terry’s Parkinson’s Disease.
Herein lies the conflict. Terry is not well and Pat isn’t coping too well with her care. A decision has to be made: will the ladies move into an assisted living facility in Chicago, or will they return to Canada where Terry’s family can help Pat with Terry’s care?
While it’s pretty clear that Terry wants to make sure Pat is happy, Terry wants to move back to Canada. Pat really doesn’t like this idea though and fights the family and Terry on this at every turn.
Terry’s illness takes quite a turn for the worse though, and Pat loses the fight. The couple head back to Canada where Terry can spend the last of her days around her family. It’s unbelievably sad, and A Secret Love is a stark reminder of our mortality. At the same time though, Terry and Pat’s relationship is proof that love really does win, always.
They don’t make love stories like this in Hollywood. A Secret Love demonstrates that against all odds, love is worth fighting for, even when society tells you that it’s not.
A Secret Love is available to stream exclusively on Netflix. Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter and Instagram!
