Asexual Awareness Week: Tyger Songbird’s Story
Tyger Songbird’s story isn’t one that we’ve covered yet in our Asexual Awareness Week 2023 coverage. Despite this, there are plenty of LGBTQ people in this world who struggle greatly with their faith and religion, and Tyger’s experiences with the church and religious figureheads in his community are shocking, to say the least.
His singledom and his lack of desire to interact with others sexually caused Tyger to become the focus of a conversion campaign at the hands of his pastor. As a result of this, Tyger abandoned his church and delved further into his investigation of asexuality, where he finally found peace and validation.
As you dive into Tyger Songbird’s story, you’ll learn that he is sex-repulsed. In case it’s unclear, this means that he is put off by the idea of sex. While he is the first story we’re sharing this Asexual Awareness Week that depicts this version of asexuality, we know that he is not alone. There are many others out there who share this identity and feel similar to him.
Read on for Tyger Songbird’s story about his journey into asexuality.
How old were you when you realized you were asexual?
I was 26 years old when I officially knew I was asexual.
What was the process of discovering your asexuality like for you?
I thought I was asexual at 19, and when I tried to come out then, people dismissed asexuality as being a possibility by telling me asexuality is “for plants”. I said I was celibate due to being devoutly religious in my early 20s. I then learned that the church not only didn’t encourage celibacy by stating that they felt everyone was “called” to be married, but I also learned that celibacy through Spotlight and Catholic church scandals did not fit me.
Many other celibate people I knew still had an attraction sexually that I didn’t, but they fought to not engage in it. I was the opposite. I just never wanted to have sex, whatsoever. I ended up leaving the church after some years, mostly due to the fact the church essentially singled me out for wanting to stay single. A pastor told me that he didn’t think people are meant to stay single because he felt that singleness was denying “the true purpose of being a man”.
I then heard that same pastor quote a Bible verse that mentions being single, and he omitted that portion and refused to talk about staying single and sex-free. Then and there, I started to exit.
What part of the asexual community do you identify as? Can you explain how that plays out for you and in your relationships?
I am apothisexual (sex-repulsed), asexual, and I’m also aromantic asexual (aro-ace).
Are you out as asexual?
Yes, I am out and proud! Everyone around me knows I’m asexual—family, coworkers, and friends. I have spoken in online asexual conventions, and speak about asexuality on various social media platforms. I also have started an asexual community meetup group in my city as well.
What is something that you wish more people understood about asexuality?
I would love for people to know that asexuality is liberating and amazing, not a sadder, lesser state of being. Many times, television likes to depict aces as being sad or lonely for not having a mate. However, many asexual people like me don’t wish to have a partner or sex ever, and we feel complete without a partner, living our lives to the fullest. We feel whole and happy being asexual like we’ve come into our own.
Who is your fave asexual character in film, TV, books, or any other kind of media?
My favorite asexual character is Todd Chavez from Bojack Horseman. When Todd Chavez came out as ace in the TV show, I felt every bit of it. I felt the anxiety and the liberating feeling when he spoke his truth. I was the same way. I’m so thankful to the Bojack Horseman team for doing such a wonderful representation of asexuality with Todd.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
I wish more people would understand that asexual people do face discrimination as well. All the time I hear stories of people claiming “How do asexual people face discrimination? What kind of discrimination could someone face if they are asexual?”.
Well, I wrote an entire thread on the types of ways asexual people face discrimination, as well as countless studies stating that asexual people encounter things like corrective r*pe, assault, and coercion.
I, and other ace activists, like Yasmin Benoit have mentioned how asexual people are more likely to be sent to or offered conversion therapy.
I also wrote an entire article for LGBTQ Nation, and a series of threads about how the religious right is actively targeting asexual marriages, essentially stating they wish to force people to have sex to be counted as a “marriage” that has legal benefits and rights.
So, yes, asexual people do face discrimination, and the groups trying to target other LGBTQIA+ groups are out against us aces as well.
Tyger’s story is incredibly powerful and he is clearly a wealth of knowledge and resources for anyone who may have questions at this point. If you made it this far and you wish to connect with Tyger, his socials are linked below.
Thank you, Tyger Songbird, for allowing us to step inside your world as you continue to share your journey with us all.
You can connect with Tyger Songbird on X or Instagram. If you missed our previous Asexual Awareness Week features, you can check them out here. Follow us on X and Instagram for all queer stuff!
